How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
