dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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