wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
