smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
