didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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