so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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