No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i've created a new STD.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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