2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
