addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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