Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
