i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
