I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
