After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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