I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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