Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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