Say something about gay babies.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
