I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
