Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
