Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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