ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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