Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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