I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Randomize
