I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
