I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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