how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
