Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
