he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
