To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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