Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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