Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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