Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize