are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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