Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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