He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
