just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
