If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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