why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
