i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
