This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
one might say we're banned from that church
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
