I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I love you.
Bad choice
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
