I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
