awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
