did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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