I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
