this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
