I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
only you would photoshop your dick
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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