Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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