We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
