I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
