there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize