i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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