You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
