thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
