In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
