i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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