I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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