I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
