4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
