Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
