nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
