Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
