better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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