I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
